Tuesday, January 20, 2015

my new normal



Wash the bottles, load the dish washer, clean the kitchen, dust, clean the floor, vacuum, laundry, change diapers, feed the baby, cuddle the baby, play with the baby… this is why I never have anything to write about! But, shhh the baby is finally sleeping, the laundry is done, bottles are washed, the house is clean and the dish washer is running!
I got Morgan to sleep by 8:30 picked up, waxed my eye brows, and painted my nails by 10:00 and I feel like I accomplished some great challenge!
It’s really hard to find inspiration to write when the only thing I do is clean and take care of Morgan. I don’t know if it is just me but I feel like when Morgan was born that was the end of Laney and the start of Morgan’s Mama. I feel like I have lost myself and I need to get at least a little of me back and since  it’s a new year – YAY 2015- and I am trying to learn to make some time for myself. What great timing I have, I decide to start right when I hear the words every wife wishes they never had to hear “See you later.” This is not the first time I have heard this and it for sure won’t be the last and in the grand scheme of things 5 weeks really isn’t that long right? WRONG! To me 5 weeks feels like forever. Forever when it is the first time I have been apart from James for more than 10 days in 2 years and it’s the first time I will be alone with Morgan for that long. Let’s also not forget that my husband is my best friend and being apart from him for 5 weeks, not able to talk to him for 3 weeks is FOREVER. But that is what I have to do. That is what I agreed to when I married James. I knew going into this that his job is demanding and will take him away from me many times for varying amounts of time. What I have to remind myself often is that this is not forever. It is a blip in the course of the rest of our lives and it will only make me more independent and us stronger. Distance makes the heart grow fonder right?
So it begins 5 weeks! We are one week in and though I am not a fan this week did go by faster than I anticipated it would. I managed to say see ya later and drive away before the tears fell and while Morgan is too little to know why daddy isn’t here it is obvious that she does know. She does not, I mean DOES NOT, want to go to bed at night. I think she is trying to wait on daddy to come home. But luckily James recorded a voice mail and a video for her so I play those back to her often. I have been trying to fill up my days with things to do to keep me busy but there is only so much you can do with a tight budget and a 6 month old haha! I am lucky enough to have great friends (neighbors) that want to come over a lot and I just updated my Netflix Queue with some movies that are supposed to be really good!
Back to finding time for me- The past two days I have managed to do a little something for myself each day.
Yesterday: After Morgan went to sleep for the night I took a nice long, hot bath with a nice lavender candle burning on the side of the bath tub.
Today: After Morgan went to bed for the night I waxed my eye brows and painted my finger nails.
I am finding a theme here and it looks like me time starts when Morgan’s day ends.  I do have a massage scheduled for February 2nd! Eeek I can’t wait for that!
I bought a Women’s Health magazine thinking I would read it and get some motivation to work out but really all I did was look at the pictures and think “How do people with babies have time to work out?” and “When did Brittany Spears get back to looking like that?” I guess I could be working out right now…hmmm
I would really like to find a Mommy and Me yoga or aerobics class. I think that would be fun for me and Morgan would love it! Add that to the growing list of things on my  to–do list
I guess my biggest challenge right now is to find balance. A balance between being Morgan’s Mama and being Laney without giving up the quality of either one.
Calling all Mamas! What do you  do to make time for yourself? Leave me a comment and let me know!
-Laney



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